Some of these you may have seen yourselves.
And some of them you may have missed.
I don’t think of these in any competitive sense at all.
This isn’t a top-ten listing.
They’re merely the posts that have stuck in my head.
1). If we had a Pigs Bottom Sausage Award then Mom at American Family in France would surely win it!
Unfortunately, the printer has let us down and, as a result, we are completely out of stock of that particular award (there are some other ones that we are out of stock of but I’m not going to mention them as there are bound to be bloggers out there desperately hoping for one of them! Take those two guys currently battling it out for the Men in Bikinis on Skateboards in the Snow Award, for example. They’d be mortified if they found out that we are out of stock of that particular award! All those strange looks from the neighbours, all those goosebumps, all those bruised knees – and all for nothing!)
So I can’t give Mom an award for Caca Boudin, a.k.a. “Poop Sausage” no matter how much I’d like to!
I luuuuurve Pig’s Bottom Sausages and am thinking about applying for a job as the guy in posh restaurants who has to eat up all the bits that the Americans leave behind!
Mom at American Family in France, I have to tell you that I spent my first six years in France working in an abattoir where, amongst other things, we packed Pig’s Bottoms (the meat that goes into an Andouillette) – it looks and feels like a used condom that has been lying in the rain by the side of a busy road for a couple of days!
I only had to put the boxes on the pallets; the girls had to straighten out the Pig’s Bottoms and lay them in the boxes – I’m sure they loved it!
She wrote about 5,200 words and didn’t mention Pigs Bottoms once!
The lengthy missive does touch on the subjects of “Snow”, “Writing”, “Forty-Seventh Birthdays”, “Girlie Get-Togethers”, “Fish Exfoliation” amongst other things.
Please note that the above is not an exhaustive list; Ive probably missed out something vitally important such as the Stamp Collecting bits but, you have to ask yourself (at least, I do), whether this is supposed to be a summary or a detailed autopsy?
Oh, there are some photos as well (actually, quite a lot of them) including one of a rather sensibly sized wine glass!
This lovely litany of Christmas catastrophes brought a smile to my face
I thought these sorts of things only happened to me!
You know Vivi, I used to do that…
Poke things up my nose, I mean.
Tiddlywinks and bits of Lego, I seem to remember…
I don’t do it anymore, of course.
Well, not as much as I used to!
You can tell Fry that it’s widely know that children who stick things up their noses…
Generally go on to lead remarkable lives!
5). And while we’re on the subject of children (as we often seem to be, these days….), Parisienne Mais Presque at Parisienne Mais Presque has something to say about Sleep (and random thoughts on newborns.)
Her baby girl (who must be about a month old by now) seems to be coming along very nicely although Parisienne Mais Presque does mention….
“When she’s upset, she turns red, scrunches up her eyes and nose and opens her mouth as wide as she can…”
Goodness, she sounds just like Mrs A Taste of Garlic!
Perhaps it’s a female thing?
OK – now all that stuff is out of the way, let’s get on to the really important stuff…
Of course, it’s Awards Time!
And, I am proud to announce a new winner of the Blog of the Week Award!
This is awarded to the Blog post that has tickled my fancy the most during the past seven days.
This week’s Blog of the Week has been won by none other than Kung Fu Dana at Kung Fu Dana for the amazing post (and when I say amazing, I mean this really is one of those hyper amazing posts that you hear about every now and again.)
I bet most men won’t be able to get all the way through the post without having to pop out for a breath of fresh air (at least, I had to!) but it’s almost a Paris Karin blog in terms of length.
“I didn’t get the natural birth I wanted. Not even close. I got a dubbed version of Rosemary’s Baby with no subtitles. But I got Zed and he’s a fat, happy healthy baby with blue eyes and a smile that slays me. And for that, I’d do it all over again a million trillion zillion times.”
Ah, isn’t that sweet? And has somebody been chopping onions in my office again?
And what a cool name is Zed?
If I’d been born with a name like that I’d probably be a rock star by now, or an artist or something like that.
Congratulations Kung Fu Dana, welcome Zed and FB, you probably deserve a nice large drink of something rather strong!
Kung Fu Dana, if you’d like to place your award on your blog sidebar just email me and I’ll send you the code.
Now for the rest of the awards….
I understand that the Girlie Get-Together was a success, that the riot police weren’t deployed and that the clean up operation took a little less time than anticipated. The roads are back to normal but, motoring organisations are advising drivers to check to see if there are likely to be any delays due to the Tearoom Tear-aways!
Now, I once tried to write poetry but, with a complete lack of success I soon gave up.
With Kitty, however, you know straight away that she lives in Brittany when she starts with the words…
“Rain falling down
Cold, turning the snow to wet, grey mush
Freezing in the wind, overnight turning hard
Shattering crisp with a light step
Early, stepping out, key guarding those asleep
Morning darkness turning grey pink tinge”
Now, how French is that?
Santa only has to work one day a year but…..
Feels that he has to go on strike for…
More mulled wine!
Does that feast look scrumptialicious or what?
The often feared and frequently discussed She’s Out of the Country so we can Gossip about Her Behind her Back Award gets shared this week between Delana at Du Jour (who is in America, as she explains in I’ll be Home for Christmas… I Hope), Sara Louise at Sara in Le Petit Village who is destroying Dublin (or, at least, she sounded like she was about to start on Christmas Eve Eve.) and Sam at Totally Frenched Out (she was reunited with her bags on Christmas Eve.)
So, with them both out of the country, we can discuss their dodgy doings to our heart’s content!
That post starts, strangely enough, with the words… “Keith! Keith! Keith!
I’m chanting his name as though he’s a prize-fighter. Perhaps he is. The knocks to his head may explain a thing or two about the crazy behaviour. Check out his blogs here and here; you’ll understand what I mean. Still, I chant his name: Keith! Keith! Keith!”
And she calls me strange?
In my opinion, typical behaviour from a Gooner!
Tommo, I used to hear those Honda V4s coming down the hill into Parliament Square (obviously the RC versions) and….
…it used to make my trousers buckle, if you know what I mean!
The Awards for Not Winning an Award this Week go to the following usual suspects…
Piglet at Piglet in France for not doing anything at all crazy and not even ranting that much. Although I do understand that it is A Waiting Game and anticipate something truly award worthy as soon as the Christmas celebrations are over.
You see? Her son has hurt himself and instead of exploding into a mushroom cloud of ranty rage, Sarah seems more interested in the firemen!
Personally, I blame the season of goodwill!
Tear were certainly spilled at Emmygration but I can only Emmy an Award for Not Winning an Award for The Weepy one where I announce stuff and try to get up to date because now Emmy has a proper job she’s not ranting do much about not having a job and anyway, I can’t go handing these awards out just because someone has a little weep, now can I?
Just across the valley from me lives the blogess known as Rosalyn from An English Rose in France.
She gets an Award for not Winning an Award for the simple reason that her husband supports the football team that my football team happened to beat on Sunday!
Logic? If you’re looking for logic, you’re in the wrong place!
Finally, as it is Christmas I’m going to rustle up some special Christmas awards like these….
Foie Gras Burger of the Week Award goes to that amazingly overlooked foodie blog XC in the City
Jon at The Vendee Blog wins this Week’s What a Pile of Pants Award for using that phrase in a blog post.
He used it in a post called The Christmas Special which was largely about British people not realising that France has weather too.
All the best