Sky Machines is Brooke’s blog about her life in Marseilles.
Brook says of herself… “My name is Brooke. I am 23 and I like animals, art, and advertising. In fourth grade I wrote “Brooke is Dangerously Special” on all my notebooks. Now I keep it a secret. I’m moving to France because I hate nickels and I can’t stand using them anymore.”
I suspect that the nickel hating thing isn’t the whole reason that Brook moved to France and I’m determined to find out the rest of the story.
So, without further ado….
The Rest of the Story….
Well, as with all good stories, it’s best to start at the beginning and move on from there.
Sky Machines actually began life in December 2008 but as it was based in America at that time, I’m going to ignore the back story and start reading from when the real action starts; when Brook moves to France.
Which is here with I’ll just pretend I’ve lost my voice for a year.
Which, if you ask me, seems rather a strange thing to do if you’ve just moved to France to teach little froggies how to croak in English?
Perhaps she was just feeling a little bit shy?
Actually, for me, the blog really starts (in typical Brooke style) with a mid-Atlantic conversation (picture the Scene: Miles above the Atlantic Ocean) which I will reprint here…
Brooke: Are you from France?
French guy: Yes I am.
Brooke: Do they have M&Ms in France?
French guy: Yes.
Brooke: Oh thank goodness.
The funny things French people say…..
Brooke seems to have an ear for the funny things that French people say.
She seems to have the knack of making friends though?
I mean, just take a look at Keep your friends close, and French people closer!
I just loved the bus affair!
When I first moved to France I used to love watching Noddy on TV every Saturday morning.
Because, if course, Noddy is called Wee Wee (or similar) in France!
That always used to crack me up!
Thus, I was suitably impressed when, in How old are you? Brooke gets her class of students to pronounce “Pumpkin Pie!”
Yes Brooke, just how old are you?
The funny things Brooke says…
In Hide your wives, hide you kids and hide your husbands Brooke explains to her amazed teacher that she stole her car (or rather, Jean Paul, her alter ego, did!)
Personally, all I want to know is… “Where Jean-Paul hid Fatima’s body?”
And, if you like shouty bits, there are some shouty bits in Solidarité where Brooke goes on strike where, from my experience, people tend to stand around shouting a lot, then take two hours off for a nice lunch before standing round and shouting a lot (see my strike experience at Breton Diary.)
In when the cat’s away the mice will dance Brooke mentions that she’s tired and her flat-mates go loopy.
She’s used to them hating her hair but, loving her French?
That appears to be a new one for her!
But then again, her flat-mates don’t appear to approve of her diet.
Still, in Kate Moss hates tomatoes at least they were kind enough to tell Brooke… “Even if you lose weight from not eating enough tomatoes, you’ll still have that fat face.”
Ah, aren’t you lucky to have such nice friends, Brooke!
France isn’t America, you know…
One of the joys of reviewing a blog by an American is the slow dawning on the blog’s author that, France is, in fact another country.
In Super Size Me Brooke learns that everything in America is big but, here in little old France… “We are packed in like sardines over here, guys.”
And in Only FOOLS use red we learn that its the little things that are different over here.
I mean… “It’s the little differences. I mean, they got the same shit over there that we got here, but it’s just – it’s just there it’s a little different. You can walk into a movie theater in Amsterdam and buy a beer. And I don’t mean just like in no paper cup, I’m talking about a glass of beer. And in Paris, you can buy a beer at McDonald’s. And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? They call it a “Royale with Cheese!”"
And you can ruin a whole year by using red in your notebook!
In Where the good boys and girls live we learn that it is Christmas every day in Minnesota (wherever that is?)
Which prompts Brooke’s students to ask, as always… “Why on earth did you leave and come here?”
Personally I think that it was the cheese and macaroons!
Which brings me to…..
The foodie bits…
Brooke also has quite a bit to say about food (which makes her a pretty clever person in my book!)
Although I’m not too sure I agree with Brooke’s French Diet (as described in zero out of four dentists recommend it.)
There seems to be a slight lack of Pig’s Trotters, if you ask me?
In My life is so hard Brooke complains that she’s going to try 33 type of cheese during her year in France.
Only 33? At A Taste of Garlic Mansions we eat more that that a day!
In Cheese Review 3 Brooke discovers Saint Agur and says of it… “This cheese is freaking strong!”
Which, if you ask me, is a pretty darned good cheese review!
Although not the sort of thing you’d expect to find in Gourmet Magazine, for example?
Come to think of it though, didn’t Gourmet Magazine close down?
Perhaps if they’d employed Brooke as their cheese correspondent (what a great job that would be – I’d love to be some magazine’s cheese correspondent!), they might have been able to keep going?
Mind you, Brooke seems equally concise when reviewing macaroons as we see in The yellow ones are the best.
And what more do you need to know?
I must admit, to be honest, to being a trifle disappointed when I discovered that Eat your Eyes Out wasn’t all about a Zombie Paella Festival but rather just some pretty photos of Marseille.
Still, the silver mullet do look quite edible!
So, summing up….
The French parts of Sky Machines have only been going for three months but, what a three months!
This is another blog that I’m going to have to check in on every day – just to see how Marseille copes with its latest teaching assistant.
Why don’t you pop in a check out Sky Machines too!
Apparently (or so I’ve been told – and it’s all the gossip in my local village!), it’s all about Brooke teaching her eight year old students how to pronounce six as sex!
That sounds far more interesting than Brooke’s parents moving to Kazakhstan to become bat farmers!
All the best