Even though such events were strictly outlawed by President Sarkozy, a bunch of batty expat bloggers decided to defy the ban and stage a riotous reunion in the unsuspecting town of Aix-en-Provence last Saturday!
Police are desperately hunting down this dangerous gangster and have advised any members of the public who come across her not to try to apprehend her but instead…
Run like hell!
Although there are very few pictures of this dangerous ringleader, national security agencies have distributed this image, taken a few years ago, during a tour of duty in Vietnam before the dishonourable discharge for arranging expat extravaganzas!
Please click on the image for more detail.
Also part of the gruesome girlie gang of expat bloggers was that well known escape artist, Piglet from Piglet in France!
On the run ever since she dramatically escaped from a bathroom, Piglet is know to be armed with a bottle of Tomato Sauce and is considered, by international enforcement agencies, to be highly dangerous!
The only known recent photograph of Piglet is this one taken during her infamous bathroom escape!
Please click on the image for more detail.
Once again, police advise the general public not to approach Piglet and, should they stumble across her, they are encouraged to Sh*t themselves and then run like hell!
Also spotted at this girlie gangster gathering was the infamous Canadian expat blogger, Tanya from Tanya in Transition.
Reportedly in hiding in Nice, this dangerous expat blogger is being hunted by police all over the world.
Recently a plane was delayed for four hours at Charles de Gaulle airport when it was rumoured that she was on board!
She was known to be Justin Bieber’s favourite floozy before she broke his heart by marrying someone else and police advise the utmost caution from anyone who thinks they might have spotted her.
None other than the feistiest floozy of them all was also rumoured to be in attendance!
Sara Louise from Sara in Le Petit Village left her mountain hideaway to attend this meeting of the five families, accompanied by her husband.
Sara Louise is known to be a very private person and never talks about her private life but we have managed to find this image of her, escaping (with a backpack full of gold) from the daring hi-jack of Flight 169, earlier in the year.
She is known to have a bear sized dog who is called Fifty (after the number of nosey tourists he can eat in one sitting!)
Another attendee who tries to maintain a low profile is B from Is there such as thing as too much cheese?
Obviously the cultured member of the gang, B penned a poem about the whole event.
The local Inspector of Police did say, however… “Don’t let her rampant rhyming put you off our guard! She does come from Australia, you know!”
So, there you have it. Be on guard because, she does come from Australia!
The only photo we could find is from B’s childhood, before she embarked on her heinous career of expat blogging!
Also known as a horror story writer, Charley from 365 Things That I Love about France was also suspected to be sat at the table of expat extroverts!
I suspect the only reason she was wearing glasses was to better keep an eye on that bottle of Tomato Ketchup that Piglet had brought along!
Charley did suggest that next time maybe I should attend?
And just for that, I’ll show you this photo of Charley comforting Justin Beebledick (or whatever he’s called – I don’t understand what all you girlies see in him) shortly after that terrible Tanya cruelly dumped him!
And finally, the wonderful Kirsty from You had me at Bonjour… was also there and taking a scientific approach to the whole thing!
She postulated that… “There is a little known physics theory that states when too many bloggers exist within a particular radius, irresistible centrifugal forces will build forcing the bloggers together at the vortex’s centre.”
Now, I could call her a little monkey for taking a photo of Lingerie for me….
But I actually prefer this little photo of her competing in the World Leprechaun Championships, a few years ago!
Obviously, if you want an sort of sensible (and accurate) description of what actually happened, you’d be far better off going to one of the blogs listed above.
And, if any of you mad, bad expat bloggers in France are thinking of doing something similar and want to let me know about it…
I’d be only too glad to hear all about it!
The restaurant manager has just phoned me up….
With a complaint!
Which of you was it?
It’ll cost me a fortune to get all that Graffiti cleaned off!
All the best
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