A Taste of Garlic

Blogapalooza in Provence! - Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur

provence alpes cote dazur  Blogapalooza in Provence!   because we all love reading blogs about life in FranceReports are coming in of a Blogapalooza in Provence!

Even though such events were strictly outlawed by President Sarkozy, a bunch of batty expat bloggers decided to defy the ban and stage a riotous reunion in the unsuspecting town of Aix-en-Provence last Saturday!

It is understood that the leader of the leader of the pack (and general organiser of the even), Aidan from Conjugating Irregular Verbs proudly published details of her misdeeds on an expat blogsite!

Police are desperately hunting down this dangerous gangster and have advised any members of the public who come across her not to try to apprehend her but instead…

Run like hell!

provence alpes cote dazur  Blogapalooza in Provence!   because we all love reading blogs about life in FranceAlthough there are very few pictures of this dangerous ringleader, national security agencies have distributed this image, taken a few years ago, during a tour of duty in Vietnam before the dishonourable discharge for arranging expat extravaganzas!

Please click on the image for more detail.




provence alpes cote dazur  Blogapalooza in Provence!   because we all love reading blogs about life in FranceAlso part of the gruesome girlie gang of expat bloggers was that well known escape artist, Piglet from Piglet in France!

On the run ever since she dramatically escaped from a bathroom, Piglet is know to be armed with a bottle of Tomato Sauce and is considered, by international enforcement agencies, to be highly dangerous!

The only known recent photograph of Piglet is this one taken during her infamous bathroom escape!

Please click on the image for more detail.

Once again, police advise the general public not to approach Piglet and, should they stumble across her, they are encouraged to Sh*t themselves and then run like hell!

provence alpes cote dazur  Blogapalooza in Provence!   because we all love reading blogs about life in FranceAlso spotted at this girlie gangster gathering was the infamous Canadian expat blogger, Tanya from Tanya in Transition.

Reportedly in hiding in Nice, this dangerous expat blogger is being hunted by police all over the world.

Recently a plane was delayed for four hours at Charles de Gaulle airport when it was rumoured that she was on board!

She was known to be Justin Bieber’s favourite floozy before she broke his heart by marrying someone else and police advise the utmost caution from anyone who thinks they might have spotted her.

provence alpes cote dazur  Blogapalooza in Provence!   because we all love reading blogs about life in FranceAnd talking of our favourite floozies….

None other than the feistiest floozy of them all was also rumoured to be in attendance!

Sara Louise from Sara in Le Petit Village left her mountain hideaway to attend this meeting of the five families, accompanied by her husband.

Sara Louise is known to be a very private person and never talks about her private life but we have managed to find this image of her, escaping (with a backpack full of gold) from the daring hi-jack of Flight 169, earlier in the year.

She is known to have a bear sized dog who is called Fifty (after the number of nosey tourists he can eat in one sitting!)

provence alpes cote dazur  Blogapalooza in Provence!   because we all love reading blogs about life in FranceAnother attendee who tries to maintain a low profile is B from Is there such as thing as too much cheese?

Obviously the cultured member of the gang, B penned a poem about the whole event.

The local Inspector of Police did say, however… “Don’t let her rampant rhyming put you off our guard! She does come from Australia, you know!”

So, there you have it. Be on guard because, she does come from Australia!

The only photo we could find is from B’s childhood, before she embarked on her heinous career of expat blogging!

provence alpes cote dazur  Blogapalooza in Provence!   because we all love reading blogs about life in FranceAlso known as a horror story writer, Charley from 365 Things That I Love about France was also suspected to be sat at the table of expat extroverts!

I suspect the only reason she was wearing glasses was to better keep an eye on that bottle of Tomato Ketchup that Piglet had brought along!

Charley did suggest that next time maybe I should attend?

And just for that, I’ll show you this photo of Charley comforting Justin Beebledick (or whatever he’s called – I don’t understand what all you girlies see in him) shortly after that terrible Tanya cruelly dumped him!

provence alpes cote dazur  Blogapalooza in Provence!   because we all love reading blogs about life in FranceAnd finally, the wonderful Kirsty from You had me at Bonjour… was also there and taking a scientific approach to the whole thing!

She postulated that… “There is a little known physics theory that states when too many bloggers exist within a particular radius, irresistible centrifugal forces will build forcing the bloggers together at the vortex’s centre.”

provence alpes cote dazur  Blogapalooza in Provence!   because we all love reading blogs about life in FranceAnd I think that this is what Einistein was really trying to say all along!

Now, I could call her a little monkey for taking a photo of Lingerie for me….

But I actually prefer this little photo of her competing in the World Leprechaun Championships, a few years ago!

Obviously, if you want an sort of sensible (and accurate) description of what actually happened, you’d be far better off going to one of the blogs listed above.

And, if any of you mad, bad expat bloggers in France are thinking of doing something similar and want to let me know about it…

I’d be only too glad to hear all about it!

provence alpes cote dazur  Blogapalooza in Provence!   because we all love reading blogs about life in FranceOh, and you girlies who were at the Blogapalooza…

The restaurant manager has just phoned me up….

With a complaint!

Go on….

Which of you was it?

It’ll cost me a fortune to get all that Graffiti cleaned off!

All the best

provence alpes cote dazur  Blogapalooza in Provence!   because we all love reading blogs about life in France

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KME

8 Comments

  • By Kirsty, March 9, 2011 @ 4:53 pm

    Lord, Keith, what a nasty thing to do to a pregnant woman!

  • By Aidan, March 9, 2011 @ 5:50 pm

    I look so fierce with an enormous weapon! I’m scared of myself. I love these photos, all of them, but can’t decide if my favorite is Sara’s skydiving or B’s fairy. Hilarious.
    You really are too much. Can I get a copy of the grafitti to put on my blog?
    aidan x

  • By Sara Louise, March 9, 2011 @ 6:16 pm

    Aidan really looks like a Texan in that photo!

  • By Tanya, March 10, 2011 @ 10:28 am

    Keith strikes again! Love the photos, esp the one of B as a fairy. She makes a cute fairy!

    But, um, Justin Bieber? Really Keith? Really?

  • By B, March 12, 2011 @ 12:49 am

    I am the Fairy Queen! whoo-hoo!!

    I love Kirsty’s photos – classic.

    Tanya and Charley – you should be warned that there will be swarms of angry, jealous pre-teen girls after you now. They love Justin Bieber and therefore aren’t all that bright so these photos could tip them over the edge.

    Great work, as always, Keith. Completely hilarious and ridiculous.
    xx

  • By Aidan, March 13, 2011 @ 8:19 pm

    the mari thinks i look cute. is that weird?

  • By Keith Eckstein, March 15, 2011 @ 8:10 pm

    You know, I’ve never personally fancied soldiers but if that’s your Mari’s thing who am I to judge?

    All the best

    Keith

  • By Leslie, April 18, 2011 @ 10:44 pm

    Too cute. Looks like loads of fun…with or without the graffiti. Next time, count me in! I wanna play with all the other blog-kids!

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