Living in a Second Language starts in April 2006.
The students are rioting and there are strikes going on.
I think that’s what I like about France, the timeless quality, the enduring traditions, the way things never change….
OK, I’ll shut up!
Nicole, at that point, had already lived in France for 8 years. She knows what it’s all about. She can pass it off with A Shrug of the shoulders and A Sigh!
An American married to a Frenchman with two sons, cleverly named Boy1 and Boy2 and she lives in Laval.
Now, just to put you out of your misery I’m going to get the stripping (as in taking clothes off) stuff out of the way so that we can settle down and appreciate the finer points of this blog.
Yes, Nicole gets her kit off once in Striptease and then, totally refuses to, in And not only that, but she also refuses to get undressed.
Although I ought to mention that Nicole does admit to starting all this taking your clothes off stuff at rather a young age, even if she does blame it on genetics!
There, now that’s done, can we get on with the more serious stuff?
With two sons, I bet there’s loads of vomit tales?
“From nudity to vomit – well this is going to be an interesting review,” the poor reviewer sighed to himself, all the time thinking… “isn’t there anyone normal left in France?”
Perhaps, but that does depend on your definition of normal!
Anyway, there aren’t that many vomit posts on this blog and those that do appear are really quite harmless (certainly compared to some of the Parisienne based mothers’ blogs that I’ve reviewed here – it must be something to do with the water?)
In So, do you want to hear some more about the spa? Nicole tells us that… “Boy2 has the stomach flu and I’m knee-deep in vomit covered laundry!” She also mentions that “I undressed and got on the table, which was covered with heated towels that smelled like honeysuckle” but I was sort of expecting that anyway!
And in Bitch, bitch, bitch Nicole says that “Boy2 has had the stomach flu….. He woke me up 5, that’s right, 5 times, last night to cry, vomit, whine or some combo of all three.” She doesn’t mention if she took her clothes off or not.
So, how did Nicole come to move to France?
Well, you know, I was wondering that myself.
In More lessons learned, Nicole lets us know that she moved over at 17, having sold her car (a canary yellow VW Beetle, no less!) to pay for the trip. Although she only stayed for 3 months on that occasion, as you can see, she came back.
Mind you, there was nearly an International Incident when Nicole and her Husband were invited to a house-warming party.
In front of 48 people (well, 49 if you include her husband but he’s probably seen it all before) she bopped one of the guests on the head with her breast!
As normally happens with International Incidents, she claimed it was all just some big mistake (as in “Whoops, I’m sorry we shot down your airliner, it looked like a missile to us!” or “Sorry about ramming your submarine, we thought it was a ship-eating whale!”) but, you know, I’m not so sure?
After all, Nicole does seem to suffer from Foot in Mouth disease.
And when she’s not talking about not-dancing, she may be found Shaking her Booty – whatever one of those is?
Or discussing secretaries and their not-dancing habits!
So, summing up….
Any blog which has a post like this is a mighty fine blog as far as I’m concerned (and I quote Nicole’s words)…
“So. I was on my way out the door for a meeting. Boy2 asked if he could call me while I was out. I told him he could, if it was an emergency. He asked, “Is a bad mood an emergency?”
I said no, of course. Otherwise I would’ve gotten three calls during my meeting. At least. Not that he’s given to bad moods, he isn’t, not generally. But bad moods were in the air yesterday.
In the end, we found a solution. I asked him to hand his bad mood over to me. I told him I would keep it in my purse while I was away. He looked horrified.
“I don’t want it back – you should just get rid of it.” He stood on the terrace and watched me toss it in a storm drain next to the garage as I left. We both agreed it would eventually make it to the river and be carried away forever.”
The stripping, partial nudity and the occasional spoken faux pas do, I have to admit, combine to this blog some added interest for some readers.
But the blog should be readable by all.
My favourite post and, the one which seems to best sum up this blog, is to be found at Stating the obvious.
If that’s your cup of tea you should take the time to visit Laval and pop in and see Living in a Second Language – I think you’ll have a great time!
And me? Well, I’m headed off to Normandy for a Marathon Meal. I may or may not survive; please pray for me!
All the best