Parisienne Mais Presque is the blog of a Seattlite, who according to her own about me page… “now lives on the other side of the map, just outside of Paris. She fell in love with and married a Frenchman in Boston, and in 2003 they took the great leap across the Atlantic. This summer they celebrate eight years of marriage and the second birthday of their son, le Petit. This is the story of her life as a pseudo-Parisienne in her country of adoption.”
So, what is life like for a pseudo-Parisienne in Paris?
Let’s take a look….
Start with the Poop….
I’m not sure why but, I think it’s probably best to start off with the smelly stuff and get it out of the way. This being a blog about life in Paris, I did expect a few references to the brown stuff and, I have to say, I wasn’t disappointed.
In Time for a (Diaper) Change? Parisienne Mais Presque (who shall henceforth, as far as this blog is concerned, be know as PMP), mentions that she has had four poopy diapers to change. I don’t know what she’s complaining about? It is part of my family’s folklore that when, at the age of three months, I was introduced to the delights of Andouillette, I could easily match that number ten times over!
Then again, in Emmerdé, PMP says that she had a spectacular baby poop accident this morning! Please tell us more, I cry out (on behalf of us all) – and she does. It’s all to do with… “suddenly, just as he was perfectly aimed to do the most damage, there it was: a stream of very liquid orange baby poop. All over me, my pyjamas, the cute-but-useless terry cloth changing pad cover, a couple of towels, and the white area rug.”
Now, that’s a nice breakfast time thought isn’t it? If I were you PMP, I’d lay off the Andouillette until he’s a little bit older!
In Best Friend, PMP mentions that she “may never get used to dog poop everywhere” and in Potty, Smotty she discovers that “Ca va pas, non!” So, enough of the potty stuff, lets move on to more interesting and culturally vital issues…
And so, onto Brittany…
PMP visits Brittany in the summer of 2009 (a bit of a mistake, I feel, as we didn’t have a summer in Brittany in 2009!) and she seems to have enjoyed herself. As she says at the end of the holiday… “There are worse things than feeling obliged to come back.”
Right, that’s enough about Brittany, onto the Paris stuff….
In Brother, can you spare a book? PMP gets accosted by a bum who doesn’t want money; just her copy of Molière’s L’Avare! I suppose it stands to reason that with all those libraries and museums Paris bums are going to be a bit more educated than the few we find in rural Brittany.
Personally, I think that PMP handled the situation quite well. I mean, it can’t be easy getting into an argument with an existentialist tramp (I know that Molière wasn’t an existentialist but it’s such a lovely long word and I’ve been dying to use it for ages) – I do have to ask if the tramp would have been so keen on the book if it had been by Dan Brown or, god forbid, Jeffrey Archer? I suppose that PMP was probably lucky that she wasn’t reading Satre!
Anyway, PMP does admit to being a Bag Lady so she shouldn’t complain! Which is strange as, between haircuts, I’m frequently mistaken for a bag lady as well!
And, bag lady or not, PMP does say that she’s Not a real Parisienne, but, living in the suburbs, almost one (hence the title of this blog.)
In her ode to the summer, Vive l’été, PMP describes all the good things to do in Paris in the summer time.
It is in this post that PMP makes her one and only reference to the greatest iconic example of French culture (after Johnny Halliday, of course)… the Citroen 2CV! Somehow (and rather cleverly, I feel), she manages to include references to nudist hunts, crazy nuns and Louis de Funes’ wild facial expressions all in the same sentence! I bet Molière never even attempted that! So, lets move on and see if there’s….
Any Lingerie anywhere?
Well, two posts mention lingerie (assuming that you ignore the one about The Nursing Bra that doesn’t actually look like a Nursing Bra.)
In Our Lady of the Business Plan PMP states that “Only an American in Paris would hit the annual sales exclusively at the BHV, the opposite of chic — and leave with lingerie and a new bathing suit, no less.”
Personally, I’m never surprised what Americans get up to in Paris!
And, overhearing those two American students (described in the same post) queuing up to get into Notre Dame de Paris just goes to prove my point!
Then again, in Gascogne, PMP explains that her dream of a perfect Paris apartment was inspired by lingerie and perfume commercials back in the States.
All pretty tame stuff, for an American in Paris type blog.
Perhaps PMP needs to take lessons from some of the other Americans in Paris who, if their blogs are to be believed, lead a far more risqué existence!
Then again, PMP is a Software Developer (you know, one of those people that your parents used to warn you about) and, being an ex-sort-of-software-developer myself (I’m on the 12 step plan; I’m taking it one day at a time) – I can tell you that they are a funny breed! But at least, like most software developers, PMP does know how to say “Merde!”
Perhaps that explains the Crooked nose?
So, to sum up….
Summing up, I do have to say that there is a substantial lack of “Oh, I slipped in some dog poop and ruined my Pierre Cardin wooly undies” type posts for what purports to be a Life in Paris blog. But them, PMP does live on the outskirts of Paris so might explain it.
So, safe in the knowledge that this is a fairly Dog Poop free zone (you wouldn’t want to look in Le Petit’s nappies though!), why not pay a visit to Parisienne Mais Presque to see what you find.
I bet you’ll enjoy your visit and find it interesting and…..
I can categorically promise you… No silly Johnny Halliday or Mushrooming posts on this blog – and only a couple of references to Lingerie!
And me? Well, as Spurs have just finished the season in fourth place (and are thus going to Europe next year!), I’m going off to see Le Foot and, once it’s over, I might just take a peek at the curious side of teenage romance!
All the best
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