A Taste of Garlic

A Seattleite in Paris - Paris

paris  A Seattleite in Paris   because we all love reading blogs about life in FranceYou know, reading this blog, A Seattleite in Paris, firmly establishes what I’ve long suspected, that I really am the most desperately pathetic under-achiever!

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, in fact, I think it’s something I can take pride in. If I knew how to cook brownies I would give the last brownie as a prize, to me, the saddest act here.

You see, even though I’ve been blogging for four years now, I’ve really not managed to address the range of subjects that A Seattleite in Paris manages to cover and my rants sound, well, wimpy and pathetic compared to hers!

I’ll try to explain….

Even though I’m at a disadvantage (living, as I do, in rural Brittany), I’d love to blog about waist high piles of dog poo.

I rarely get the chance though; A Seattleite in Paris, on the other hand, has got it easy (living in Paris) and manages to install just the right amount of vitriol into posts like les crottes.  You should bear in mind that that was only her 5th blog post – she obviously started off as she meant to go on!

And, apart from Dog Plop, she manages to rant and rave at a whole host of other things that just happen here in rural Brittany (at least not in my party of it!  Perhaps I should have checked first and found a more exciting location?)

What am I talking about?  Well, things like the nudity and sex bits!

The nudity and sex bits……

It’s all here, you know!

From condom counting in Septuagenarian Safe Sex to public trouser removal in At least he left something on!

Although A Seattleite in Paris does keep her botty covered when she visits the Osteopath (I wonder if he said… “No, no. Don’t apologize. I like them. Hello, Mummy!” In English or French; I think the effect would have been the same?)

I rather think (and I’m sure the osteopath rather hopes) that a French woman would have stripped off down to her flesh coloured G-String?

I wonder if that’s just a case of American Modesty vs French Sexy?

The almost random bits that, together, seem to make sense?

Well, where better to start than Random and follow that up with a look at the Splatter Perimeter! It all happens here, you know!

Throw in a bit of Public Nose Picking and you’ve got a recipe for a true City casserole!

Now, all we need are some examples or really stupid parking and we’ll be set!

Thankfully A Seattleite in Paris is on the ball and gives us an example of Parisian Parking (although that looks a bit like Breton Parking to me!) and, not wanting to waste her words, another example of Parisian Parking!

The bits about boys getting it right, and wrong!

Oh, there are a few of those, you know!

From being touched up by little boys in French flirting begins at a young age to… well, five year old flirty boys in a post also called French flirting begins at a young age!

Of course, as soon as those boys hit puberty, it all starts to get serious – as we find out in Dragueur! Anyway A Seattleite in Paris has a great tip for the over enthusiastic boys in (and there might be a clue in the title)… Go Away!

The bitchy bits….

Right, lets get the bitchy bits out of the way then…

The obligatory queuing in line post (watch out American Mom in Paris – you may have some competition here!) is admirably covered in Parisian Bitchy and is complemented by the lovely London (the post is lovely, not the City.  All right thinking people know that London is where the doggie droppings on the pavements has metamorphosed and actually walks the streets!  “I see ambulatory dogs’ droppings and they don’t know they’re poo!”) which, strangely, is totally in line with me feelings about that place.

Although, Bitch of the Year Award really has to go to… Mr Too Self Centered to Notice!

It’s much too bitchy to be a mere rant!

And, talking of rants…..

The Rants!

Plenty of rants here!  Where do we start?

How about a little summary?

Take your pick from one of the following……

Stupid Tourist RantStupid Metro Rider Rant or Big Hair or Ponytail Rant!

If they don’t do anything for you you could try… Loud Music on Public Transport Rant, Newspaper in Your Face on Public Transport Rant or the stunning Tobacco Breath Rant!

Surely a rant there for everyone and I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate A Seattleite in Paris on the hard work that must have gone into this diligent study; surely a book deal can’t be far away?

So, Summing up…..

It does seem to me that apart from Provençal Almost Nudists,  Provençal Cheese Fetishists and Beach Babe Batterers (hypothetical, of course but.. also from Provençe – do I see a pattern here?)  these Paris based bloggers do, on the whole lead a rather raunchy, high speed, full-tilt life!

Of course, if you don’t understand those references, you obviously don’t have enough Garlic in your diet!

What really does it for me is the thought provoking post about the endless battle between Sit-Women and Strollers!

What, you’ve never heard of that war?  You really don’t have enough Garlic in your diet and you don’t spend enough time with A Seattleite in Paris!

If you can stand the pace I would strongly advise a visit to A Seattleite in Paris;  stay behind the Splatter Perimeter and try to keep some clothes on – you’ll really enjoy yourself!

And me?  Well, I’ve just heard that High Heels = Better Sex so, I’m off down to the village shop to buy myself a pair!

Wish me luck! I hope they work! I hope I don’t break my neck (how do the girlies manage to walk on those things?)

All the best

paris  A Seattleite in Paris   because we all love reading blogs about life in France

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  • By A Seattleite in Paris, July 26, 2010 @ 5:33 pm

    Wow, you know my blog history better than I do! You mentioned some posts that I had completely forgotten. Thanks for the thorough review. Looks like I have some high rant expectations to live up to.

  • By Keith Eckstein, July 26, 2010 @ 5:57 pm

    A Seattleite in Paris – if you could get that rant thing in gear, you may even win The Rant of the Week Award (see tomorrow’s A Taste of Garlic – That was the week….) and that is something worth winning!

    Mind you, An American Mom in Paris, KSam and St Bloggie de Rivierre are probably tough competition?

    All the best


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