Well, I suppose that the time for mourning has come to an end.
I really didn’t think that my father’s death would have affected me so much; me being born, as I was, without anything remotely resembling a heart and totally lacking in all the finer emotions that distinguish us from the beasts.
But it did affect me so….
I guess I might be slightly human after all?
It still hurts to see my father’s chair in front of the house; knowing that I’ll never see him sitting there, book on his lap – reading with his eyes closed!
But now it only hurts every minute of every day.
And that, after all, is better than before.
And if I ever hear his voice, whilst I’m all alone (as I am these days), in a charcuteire asking me “Shall we buy those eels/squids/pig’s trotters?” I do sort of understand that I’m almost hallucinating.
It does kind of worry me that I like those hallucinations – that worries me a lot!
Anyway, life goes on and I get the feeling that it’s time I got back to work on Garlic and try to catch up on the various recent deeds and misdeeds committed by some of the wilder elements of the Life in France bloggers whilst I’ve been otherwise engaged.
And whilst I’m not willing to give you any clues whose antics immediately come to mind, I can say one thing to you…
They’re a funny lot, that lot down in Montpellier!
So, from next Monday (Monday 15th August), Garlic will be re-born.
• I believe that there’s an Aussie Baby, down in the South of France, who needs a proper garlic welcome to this strange old world!
• There is a wonderful book to be given away in a new competition!
• And the wonderful author of that wonderful book has kindly agreed to be interviewed by me (mad fool that she is!)
• Johnny Depp is still not answering my phonecalls but I have complete faith that, before long, I’ll be able to get him to agree to an interview here and perhaps…
Donate a prize for a special competition?
Perhaps a pair of his boxer shorts?
Preferably not too soiled?
• I’ve got a long long list of sites to review – any of you who’ve sent me emails asking me to take a look at your site, sorry if I haven’t yet; I probably have sneaked a peek, I just haven’t got round to waffling about it!
• Obviously I shall be relying on my network of super spies to keep me updated with the latest gossip so that I can scribble about the Rosé Drinking Roustabouts in Provence and remark on the lives of the Pavement Poop Counting Princes & Princesses in Paris.
And certainly, no doubt I shall be also be remarking on the Wine Loving Louches in the Loire (you guys know who you are) and may even be reporting on local events in my little part of France; Rural (and very slightly backward) Brittany – where most of the local gossip revolves around the amount of rain in the last 24 hours, the amount of Ricard consumed whilst watching the rain, who has been abducted by aliens this week (alien abductions are, it has to be said, a regular and largely undocumented feature of our lives in the undiscovered part of Brittany!) and, finally, who has been getting slightly over friendly with Jean-Phillipe’s sheep (especially that really pretty, sexy ewe in the field down by the stream!)
Simple, boring stuff, in other words….
Stuff that wouldn’t interest anyone in their right mind….
Unless, of course, they were an expat living in France….
Or thinking of becoming one, in which case all I can say is that perhaps a large (or extra large) glass of Ricard is in order and a quick review of Garlic might help put things into perspective.
After all, whatever situation you might find yourself in as an expat in France, you can always console yourself that someone else has already not only been there but has blogged about it – and, of course, it’s probably re-blogged for posterity here at A Taste Of Garlic.
• I’ve got some ideas for some competitions – watch this space!
• Mrs A Taste of Garlic and I have been thinking about doing a mini Tour de France so that we can meet many of you in person
We are, of course held back by the knowledge that….
a). We’ve only got enough petrol to get us to Rennes (and then it’ll be a gamble if we’ve got enough to get us home again!)
b). Most of the time when me and Mrs A Taste of Garlic turn up unexpected on someone’s doorstep, they tend to pretend that they’ve left town, died during the night (or are just about to do so) or are suffering from the plague – and are thus, indisposed to make us a nice cup of tea!
c). Mrs A Taste of Garlic has got an enormous (and I’m talk mega-gallons here) problem with her waterworks and, as a consequence, doesn’t dare stray anywhere more than 30 metres from a Fosse Septique!
Still (and please, for your sanity’s sake, be very worried about this) we are discovering the joys of Skype (which has only very recently been invented in Brittany) – we may be able to tie up by video-conference.
• In other words….
Mrs A Taste of Garlic and I are going to make sure that Garlic carries on doing its normal job of spreading malicious rumours about you English Speaking Expats in France.
We may even ask some of you for your help in helping us spread those rumours!
Even if I’ve been a bit stuck up my own arse recently and feeling sorry for myself, I do apologise – it’s not every day that your best friend in the whole world (who just happens to be your dad) decides to bugger off the heaven to give God a quick lesson in linguistics and the joys of Esperanto!
I do promise that, unless I’m abducted by aliens from outer space again (always a hazard…) I’ll try to keep on track, reviewing the best and worst Life in France blogs because….
What could possibly be more important than Reading About Blogs about Life in France?
All the best